How to relax your abdominal muscles

After nearly a full Saturday of sitting in front of the computer playing with my dick, I found that my abdominal muscles had tightened up so much from sitting up that it was painful.  After searching my medicine cabinet unsuccessfully for some strong muscle relaxers, I remembered my days of exploring herbal remedies.
Peppermint is supposed to soothe the abdomen.

I loaded up on peppermint candies and pure peppermint tea.
I also tried loosening my muscles by shaking my whole body and gyrating my hips...I hope nobody saw that through the window, or they might have called an ambulance.  Today I have that "sore but well exercised" feeling in my gut.
Now I'm curious about what a peppermint candy would feel like up my ass.