Cum eating

OK, don't knock it 'til you've tried it, but if you're gonna try it you must do it right.umload
Nothing tastes worse than you're own full cumload just after you've cum.  The heterosexual man's taste for the stuff seems to decline rapidly after orgasm.  However, I discovered accidentally one time while cleaning my chair DURING a sloppy wanking session, that nothing tastes better than your own pre-cum drips while you are still horny.
I have done the experiments to explain this.  I used some glucose test strips and found that pre-cum has a much higher concentration of glucose compared to the full blown load that shoots out during orgasm.  I also found that the glucose concentration gets even higher if you are drinking fruit juice or eating candy while you wank.  However, the glucose concentration drops pretty rapidly as time goes by.  Putting your pre-cum in the refrigerator will slow this decline in glucose concentration, but putting it in the freezer and then thawing it out seems to ruin all of the glucose.
So, the best bet is to lick up your pre-cum while it's fresh.  Trouble is, it's never enough.  If you want a big enough load of pre-cum that you can swish it on your tongue you'll have to work at it.
I collect every drop that I can as I go and store it in the fridge.  A good butt plug or Aneros toy will send your pre-cum squirting out without triggering orgasm.

 For even better results, I block the flow for a while with lots of tight fitting cockrings.  Once I remove the rings, the stuff comes pouring out so you've gotta be prepared to collect it.  The best collection vessel is the lid of a bottle of Gun Oil because the edge is very narrow and can be used to scrape up small drops.

The picture shown here includes lots of clear pre-cum plus one full-blown load that ejaculated out unexpectedly during a long wank session and was collected by scraping my legs.  Pure pre-cum wouldn't have as much of the white substance, which I'm assuming is protein and causes the less appealing taste.
I keep the collection covered with plastic wrap in the fridge until it's ready for use.  If it's pue pre-cum, try guzzling it while you're horny.  If there's a lot of white protein, you'll probably want to do something else with it.  One possibility is extracting the protein out of the collection, but I have yet to experiment with this.  Another possibility is to mix it with something else.
I've tried mixing it with equal volume of corn syrup, then microwaving for a short time, stopping the microwave ever ten seconds to stir.  You'll get a cum gummy candy.
Or you can check out the book Natural Harvest.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/93126222/Natural-Harvest-A-Collection-of-Semen-Based-Recipes
 Most of the recipes are beyone my culinary skill and would so overwhelm the taste of cum that the stuff might as well not be in there.  However, I do highly recommend the recipe for Cum Creme Caramel made with three full-blown cumloads and glazed on top with as much pre-cum as you can collect. 

Don't even try making the caramel that goes with it.  I buy the sheets of caramel wrapping used for easy caramel apples and line the inside of my ramekins with it.  This treat tastes best when it's hot.  I like to shovel in a mouthful while it's still hot enough to sting (NOT STRAIGHT FROM THE OVEN, THOUGH) just as a cutie is taking a load onscreen.  
Use common sense.  I will not take responsibility for illness or injury caused by eating unsanitary or very hot substances.

new technniques

I have not been good about postung techniques and I have a lot of wisdom to spread, as well as some recent discoveries.

For one irresistible trick, see my recent post under the "toys" label and read about how I use the ball stretcher.

Another technique I discovered recently is supposed to be good for female masturbation, but it excites me just fine.  The trick is to push the soles of your feet together, increasing the tension in the groin.  In fact, anything that increases tension in the groin is awesome (holding your breath, wearing tight cock rings, squeezing down on a butt plug, placing clothes pins on the balls and dick, gripping the base of the cock with small padded vice grips.)  If you use the vice grips, be prepared to be sore for a day and I don't recommend shooting a load with the grips in place.

I was walking barefoot through my apartment and was all worked up from porn when I stepped on something.  A pang of arousal shot through my body.  It occured to me that wanking pleasure could be enhanced by pressing the soles of the feet to something hard and pointed.  I haven't figured out how to do it yet, but this can probably be combined with the technique above (pushing the soles of the feet together) by holding something like a spikey ball between the feet.

eerection cocktail

I'm still working on this one, but it's surely better than nothing.  I squeezed four sections of watermelon into 8 ounces of pomegranate juice, then drank it with 4 pills of l-citrulline.
It's kind of hard to evaluate the effects, since I combined it with using the metal cock ring, but I certainly had a pleasureful erection.

metal cock ring

After much struggling to get it on, here's what I can share about the metal cock ring.
1.  Do not start with metal.  I have been using a semi-stretchy black ring for a year now, and it took some practice.  As you will find all over the web,  put 1 ball in, then the other, then thread your soft dick through the space between your balls.  This will be difficult at first, but use some lube and stretch the ring as much as you can.  If necessary, buy a larger ring or some super-stretchy ones.

2.  It is much easier to put the metal ring on when everything is already held in place by a stretchier one.  I used my super-stretchy one around both cock and balls and another stretchy one around both balls.  Then the ring went on surprisingly easily.  The advantage of the super-stretchy ring is that it is easily removed once the metal ring is on.

3.  When jerking off, I found that the metal ring kept me hard in a way that rings with some give to them couldn't do.

4.  There's no freaking way you're getting the ring off while you're still hard.  But, you don't have to cum, just do something else for a while.  You might need to lubricate, especially if you're hairy.  Start off like you're trying to remove both balls and your cock at once.  When you've pulled pretty far, then pull your cock out from the root.  The balls will soon follow.

Eargasm

A warning about this one, that everyone should know.  All wisdom indicates that you should never stick anything in your ear!
Despite the above common knowledge.  I have found many on-line reports of people experiencing an orgasmic feeling (often called an eargasm) upon deeply probing their ears with a q-tip.  I have never been an ear cleaner.  In fact, I pride myself on having always listened to those who tell me never to put anything in my ear.
But, hell!  People also say never to stick anything up your ass...what a little bonus  I wouldf be missing out on if I had heeded THAT advice...
Hmm...
I just tried it.  Feels mostly awkward since I never probe in there.  Shit!  I just removed a long strip of what I assume is dark ear wax, and now I can't hear from that ear.  I hope I just pushed a bunch of wax into the canal and didn't just rupture the ear drum.  Gonna go buy some ear wax remover and get back to you...
...
...OK!  It was just the world's worst compacted ear wax problem.  It is starting to clear up with some wax removal drops, but it's gonna take a few rounds.  I haven't had my wax removed in a few years and my left ear already doesn't hear well (hopefully just because of wax).  It was the right ear that went out this time.  I could barely hear the cashier when I bought the drops.  I left the drops in for about 5 minutes and still couldn't hear until I fluished it out pretty well with water.

I'm not trying that again.  I'm starting to think it's no different from the pleasure of scratching a hard-to-reach itch.  If you want that sensation, just get athlete's foot or jock itch and scratch it until it bleeds...feels great but comes at a cost!

Clit stimulator as prostate massager

I  have been stammering around the house mumbling "Oh, my God" for hours now.  After 15 years of masturbating I am in awe of the transcendent experience I have stumbled upon.
You will need some play equipment for this technique, and it will make some noise...so be sure you're alone.

You will need a small clit stimulator, like this one.  I got this one as a free gift for ordering a bunch of toys from Adam and Eve, which is a good place to get good toys for good prices.  Anyway, I wasn't sure what I was gonna do with a clit stimulator.  I had purchased a bunch of prostate massagers, none of which were ringing my bell.  Then I tried something wonderful.
Do not use any of the ticker-type attachments...you don't want to lose them where the sun don't shine.  Cover the whole toy in plenty of Astroglide lube and switch it on.
This is best done kneeling, with your torso angled slightly forward at the waist.  Work the vibrating toy up your ass.  Experiment with different distances, being careful not to lose it up there.  Just be sure it is inside and you're not simply tickling your outer butt-hole.  Now take the end that's sticking out and tilt it towards your tailbone.  This should cause the vibrating head to massage your prostate.  If you've hit the right spot, you will probably squirt some semen without ever feeling an orgasm or muscle contractions.  This is called milking your prostate and it's done sometimes during medical exams.  Don't worry, the gentle trickle of jizz doesn't trigger the "must sleep, now" response.
As you jerk off, you might even feel your cock vibrating a bit, since you're basically shaking it from the root. 

I like to use a cock ring around my shaft while performing this technique, because it can make you really horny and give you hair-trigger responsiveness without ever getting you hard, which is just awkward.  The ring ensures that I'm at least partly hard.  Keep experimenting with different depths, and definitely try clenching and relaxing your pc muscle.  As great as this feels, you haven't even found the gold yet!

Try pushing it out, like you're taking a dump, but keep holding it so you don't let it drop to the floor.  Just before it exits completely, you should feel something wonderful!  If you missed the magic moment, just shove the toy back in and try expelling it more slowly, until you can stop it just as it's breaching your sphincter.

You can thank me after you've had some time to calm down!

Butt plug and cinch cord

This technique requires a bit of equipment and ingenuity, but it has the honor of giving me the best orgasm EVER.

First, you will need a butt plug with a flanged base.
If you are new to butt plugs, DON'T be afraid.  You do NOT want to waste your whole life away without ever discovering this thrill.  It does not make you gay.
As you use your plug, you will need larger and larger ones to keep getting the most out of them.  Be sure your bowels are reasonably empty and that you use lube on both the plug and your hole (Astroglide is good).  Work it in slowly.  Occasionally backing it out, twisting it, spreading your cheeks, or squatting can all ease the process...it also helps to be watching porn.  Getting over the widest part can hurt like hell, but once it's in you'll be kicked into a new level of arousal.  If it's the right size, you should be able to walk around without it dropping out.

Next, you will need a "cinch cord" like this one that I made from an old draw string and a cord lock.  I first designed this to be an adjustable cock ring, and it's great for that, but its partnership with the butt plug is incredible.
Open the loop of the cinch cord wide enough to encircle your entire cock and balls AND to fit around the flange of the butt plug already in your ass.  Be sure you are already hard so that your dick holds one end of the loop and the plug holds the other.  In this image, the blue thing is your cock ...if yours really is this blue, stop what you're doing, loosen the straps, and get some fresh air!

Now, cinch the cord down as tightly as you can.  This achieves 2 things.  It acts as a cock ring, restricting blood flow out of your cock, keeping it hard.  It also prevents the plug from being pushed out until you go soft (or loosen the cord).  The greatest pleasure of a butt plug comes when your body tries to push it out, but can't quite expel it past the widest part, and this will happen during orgasm!
To enhance things even more, yu can add a bit of auto-asphixiation.  Watch some porn, and when you estimate that the "best part" is about a minute away, take a deep breath and hold it.  When you feel you need more air, you can INHALE, but don't EXHALE yet.  The total fullness, combined with lack of oxygen can push you over the edge before you know it!  When you're done, let yourself exhale.

If you have trouble getting the plug out, relubricate your anus, reaching fingers inside if you can.  Try either squatting on the floor or sitting on a chair with your legs on a table.  I like to keep viewing porn because plug extraction feels damned good.  Push like you're taking a shit.  Pull the plug only if necessary.  I always thank the porn image who had the honor of helping me extract my plug.

You might get more than you bargained for...some brown stuff.  This is normal.  Just be prepared for cleanup.  Don't be caught doing this a minute before guests arrive!

Diamond Stretch with autoasfixiation

This is a great masturbation technique that requires no equipment and, with care, it can be done discretely in your own bed.  In fact, I discovered this as a teenager still living at home.  Decades later, it still hold records for some of my best orgasms ever.
Make your hands into a diamond shape.

Place this diamond onto your mattress with your palms up and your thumbs pointing anteriorly (toward your head.  Lay face down on your mattress so that the top of the diamond (thumbs) is just under the head of your dick.  The tips of your fingers should be somewhere in the vicinity of your balls (or, if you'r disproportionately long, somewhere near the root of your dick.)  Masterbate by grinding into the mattress, stretching your dick by elongating the diamond, and ticking your balls.
Bury your face straight down into your pillow.  You will probably need to open your mouth wide to be able to breathe, but the key to this technique is that you want to have difficulty breathing.
The orgasm might approach more slowly than you're used to.  It will be like a distant rumble of thunder that you can hear approaching for a long time.
When you're ready, tighten your leg muscles, stretch the diamond, and tickle your balls.  This orgasm is different because it is caused in part by the lack of oxygen to your brain.  Don't worry, you can't kill yourself this way.  Just DON'T USE ANY EQUIPMENT, LIKE ROPES OR GAGS TO SUFFOCATE YOURSELF!

 (Just ask actor David Carradine...oh wait...you can't...'cause he died in the most embarrassing way imaginable!)
As soon as you're done, simply roll your head to the side and take in some deep breaths of fresh air...that will feel almost as good as the mind-blowing orgasm you just had.
The only reason I don't use this technique every time is that it is very difficult to watch porn at the same time, though I've had mild success by facing toward the foot of the bed and playing porn movies from my laptop, which is sitting on a chair near my head.

Important note about clean-up, especially if you're still living at home.  Position some extra cloth under your dick so that it can be picked up and tossed in the laundry.  If it's not thick enough, you will shoot your load into the fibers of the sheets and it will leave a very suspicious stain when mom cleans the sheets!  I recommend a t-shirt that regularly gets messy from sweat, so that it won't arouse suspicion in the laundry hamper.