Several new toys

I have recently come into some money and am spending it on porn site memberships and masturbation toys.  In this section I review some of my new toys.

Rocks Off Bad Boy

 It took some practice to get the most bang for my buck with this.  They come inb various shapes and sizes, so use your experience to decide what's best for you.  I only recommend this model if you've been stretching yourself out for at least a year.  Buy extra batteries, because it uses some weird size I've never seen before.  I position it on a pillow to keep it straight, then sit down on it until I've taken it all in and the button is nestled against my nut sac.  To turn it on, hold the button, then slowly let your balls down so they don't push the button again and turn it off.  Rock forward and backward and occasionally clench your sphincter until you've found your optimal position.  You know you've got it when you start shooting cum without an orgasm.  Don't worry, you're not spent yet.  I just like to ride the edge there for a while.  I think it gets better the longer you keep it in there (until you eventually grow numb to the sensation.)  Not as awesom as I was hoping, but now that I've figured it out, it's definitely worth trying.

Extenze Original Formula

WARNING:  THIS STUFF IS SERIOUS!  Like any addict in search of a new high, I had to try something I thought I'd never touch.  Walmart sells this for half the price it goes for anyplace else.  If you buy it at the self checkout line, an employee has to come over and do a quick verification (I'm not sure what for) so don't think that you can buy this anonymously.  After my first pill, I thought my heart would burst and I was sweating like an ox.  It was so uncomfortable that I lost any thought of attempting sexual activity.  I had to drug myself with Nyquil to get any sleep that night.  Oh, and I wasn't even hard.  After taking a day off, I tried half a pill in the morning with breakfast.  All day at work I felt like I was hyped up on 5 espressos.  By the time my work day was done, my heart rate was swinging back down to normal.  I think, maybe my erections were a bit fuller and longer lasting, but I'm not sure.  Today I'm on a quar5ter of a pill.  I still have elevated heart rate and increased body temperature, but it's not uncomfortable.  It has never given me unexpected erections, and I THINK that my intended erections are fuller than normal, but I'm not convinced that I'll try this again.

Typhoon Penis Pump

Every guy has wondered about it, right?  This was the cheapest penis pump at my local adult book store.  The guy at the counter promised me that they all work the same and that I might as well go for cheap.  My first experience was surprising.  I was fully hard just to push into the tube, then it just took one pump of the squeeze bulb and I unloaded into the tube.  I hadn't quite anticipated the intensity of the gasket gripping my member, and I hadn't intended to use it for getting off.  The next morning I took things more carefully and did succeed in swelling my cock quite large.  Since I already had some cock rings on, the bulging stayed for a short while after slowly easing out of the tube (30 minutes later) but the swelling was uneven!  What's the point of getting a big cock if it looks like you have a tumor growing it it?  Upon my third use, the bulb started coming apart and it hasn't provided good suction ever since.  You get what you pay for.

Cock and Ball Harness'

This item was on sale, but came with absolutely no instructions.  I have always been trying to rig something to separate my balls while I'm strapped into a cock ring, since I know it feels good to separate them with a finger.  It took quite a bit of fiddling to figure it out and I find that one nut fits in it better than the other.  If I put it on while soft, then let myself grow, the growth phase feels pretty good, but so far I am left wanting more, and usually end up adding more rings to get a fuller effect.  I did learn that it hurts to keep it on too long, especially the moment you unsnap it and let the blood flow return.  One more thing:  I don't understand what fool thought that SNAPS would be a good design.  It's hard to adjust to just the right constriction and when I've got it tight I'm terrified that my scrotum will be caught in a snap when I lock it down!  I've already lost some pubes in the snaps and that hurt badly enough.  So, I'm still searching for a good ball spreading technique.