Several new toys

I have recently come into some money and am spending it on porn site memberships and masturbation toys.  In this section I review some of my new toys.

Rocks Off Bad Boy

 It took some practice to get the most bang for my buck with this.  They come inb various shapes and sizes, so use your experience to decide what's best for you.  I only recommend this model if you've been stretching yourself out for at least a year.  Buy extra batteries, because it uses some weird size I've never seen before.  I position it on a pillow to keep it straight, then sit down on it until I've taken it all in and the button is nestled against my nut sac.  To turn it on, hold the button, then slowly let your balls down so they don't push the button again and turn it off.  Rock forward and backward and occasionally clench your sphincter until you've found your optimal position.  You know you've got it when you start shooting cum without an orgasm.  Don't worry, you're not spent yet.  I just like to ride the edge there for a while.  I think it gets better the longer you keep it in there (until you eventually grow numb to the sensation.)  Not as awesom as I was hoping, but now that I've figured it out, it's definitely worth trying.

Extenze Original Formula

WARNING:  THIS STUFF IS SERIOUS!  Like any addict in search of a new high, I had to try something I thought I'd never touch.  Walmart sells this for half the price it goes for anyplace else.  If you buy it at the self checkout line, an employee has to come over and do a quick verification (I'm not sure what for) so don't think that you can buy this anonymously.  After my first pill, I thought my heart would burst and I was sweating like an ox.  It was so uncomfortable that I lost any thought of attempting sexual activity.  I had to drug myself with Nyquil to get any sleep that night.  Oh, and I wasn't even hard.  After taking a day off, I tried half a pill in the morning with breakfast.  All day at work I felt like I was hyped up on 5 espressos.  By the time my work day was done, my heart rate was swinging back down to normal.  I think, maybe my erections were a bit fuller and longer lasting, but I'm not sure.  Today I'm on a quar5ter of a pill.  I still have elevated heart rate and increased body temperature, but it's not uncomfortable.  It has never given me unexpected erections, and I THINK that my intended erections are fuller than normal, but I'm not convinced that I'll try this again.

Typhoon Penis Pump

Every guy has wondered about it, right?  This was the cheapest penis pump at my local adult book store.  The guy at the counter promised me that they all work the same and that I might as well go for cheap.  My first experience was surprising.  I was fully hard just to push into the tube, then it just took one pump of the squeeze bulb and I unloaded into the tube.  I hadn't quite anticipated the intensity of the gasket gripping my member, and I hadn't intended to use it for getting off.  The next morning I took things more carefully and did succeed in swelling my cock quite large.  Since I already had some cock rings on, the bulging stayed for a short while after slowly easing out of the tube (30 minutes later) but the swelling was uneven!  What's the point of getting a big cock if it looks like you have a tumor growing it it?  Upon my third use, the bulb started coming apart and it hasn't provided good suction ever since.  You get what you pay for.

Cock and Ball Harness'

This toy was on sale, but came with absolutely to instructions.  As with any toy, I have worked hard to find a way to make it work for me.I wanted this toy because I do like to use my finger to separate my balls sometimes.  I will try to describe the technique that I use with this harness in detail so that I need not include photos.  WARNING:  This technique is a bit painful, but in a good way.  I do not recommend leaving your balls strapped in like this for more than 20 minutes.
1.  I put a medium rubber latex ring against my body (behind my cock and balls.
2.  Take the longer strap of the harness and snap in tightly in the same position as the ring.  Go as tight as you can, but be sure you leave one snap available on each side of your balls for the rest of the harness.
3.  Put a small stretchy cock ring around your balls.  This is an often neglected spot for a cock ring but I have found that it contributes to my hard-on more than anything else.  When using the harness, it has the advantage of pulling the balls forward to keep them strapped in.
4.  Now, lift the shorter strap with snaps so that the smallest strap separates the balls.  One side at a time, snap this strap into place onto the snaps that were remaining onb the big strap.  You won't need to go super tight.
5.  It starts to seel better as everything grows into place.
Be forewarned:  after 20 minutes, it's a bit painful to unsnap everything because the sudden return of bloodflow also means a sudden return of pain.  Also, it should go without saying to try not to catch your scrotum or pubes in the snaps!  Who thought of using snaps?  I would like to see this same design with strong velcro instead.

"Large" anal beads

The so-called "large" anal beads on the left were the best thing I had ever felt a few months ago, but now I hardly know that they're in there.  I had to get into my hardware supply to make some REAL LARGE anal beads myself.  You can drill through a golf ball quite easily if you're careful.  There's a hardened glob of silicone at the tip, to prevent the knot in the rope from scraping my insides.You need to be careful that the balls won't tie in knots inside you, or else you could be making a very embarrassing trip to the ER.  The golf ball string is pretty good, except that it does hurt when the balls sometimes pinch my insides.  Next time, I'll tie knots between them.  The ball with the handle is a bit larger, but not as good as stuffing 3 or 4 golf balls.